Destroy Me Read online

"Huh? Oh, no. We have. We've learned to hurry. Takes some of the romance out of it though," she answered.

  "I'd imagine," I replied.

  I followed them into the house and couldn't resist picking up Scott the instant Aiden set his car seat down. He looked exactly like his dad. He had thick blonde hair that grew in a mohawk. His eyes were a deep blue, and he had deep dimples in his chubby cheeks.

  "Alright you two, get out. Scott will be fine," Reed said, pushing them towards the door.

  "You have our cell numbers if you need anything," Becca hesitated.

  "Bec, I'm a cop and Kate is a nurse. Relax and spend some time with your man," Reed told her.

  She blushed again, and took Aiden's hand.

  “C’mon Red. I've got plans for you," Aiden said and waggled his eyebrows.

  "Those two are going to end up having ten kids," I said watching them grope each other on the way out the door.

  "Probably, and they are going to enjoy every second of it," he said laughing.

  Scott reached out his hand and filled his fat hand with my hair. I tried to pull it from his hand, but he squealed and pulled harder.

  "Come here, little Casanova. You'll never get a girl by pulling her hair. Trust me. It took me all of elementary school to learn that little gem," Reed said, and pried Scott's fingers out of my hair.

  I smiled at that image. I couldn't help picturing Reed as a ten-year-old boy pulling on pigtails.

  Scott squirmed in Reed's arms. "I think he wants down," I said. He set him down and we watched as he sped across the floor toward the kitchen.

  "Why do they always head for the most dangerous room in the house?" Reed asked.

  I shrugged and we chased after him. It only took a few seconds for Scott to unload all of Reed's pots, pans, and plastic containers onto the floor.

  "How did he manage this?" I asked staring at the mess that covered Reed's kitchen floor. Scott grabbed a plastic bowl off the floor and put it on his head before crawling off again.

  An hour later Scott was finally asleep in his seat. Reed and I were sprawled across his sofa. Reed sat forward and reached out toward my face. I flinched and tossed my hands in front of my face, without thinking.

  "Hey, look at me," Reed demanded.

  I slowly dropped my hands.

  "I would never, ever hurt you," he said softly.

  "I...I...please, I can't talk about it," I stuttered. "I won't push. I'm here when ever you're ready," he comforted.

  "Let's try this again," he said and slowly reached toward my face.

  I held myself still, wondering why he insisted on touching me. His fingers touched my cheek and I felt something wet and slimy move with his fingers.

  He pulled his hand away and I noticed something green covering his fingers. "Baby food. I can't do anything about what he tossed into your hair," he said and wiped his fingers off with a diaper wipe.

  "Oh my God! I'm such an idiot. I thought, I mean, I thought that you... It doesn't matter," I fumbled.

  "Katie, if I thought for a second you would be interested I would have wanted to do more than touch your cheek, but you obviously aren't ready right now. Just, let me be your friend."

  Here I was sitting next to the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in person, and all I could manage was friendship. Reed was my every fantasy come to life. Tall, at about six foot four, but not unmanageably so since I wasn't exactly petite. His hair was a thick dark chestnut with a little bit of a wave that frequently flopped into his face. His hair and slightly tanned skin set off his grass green eyes that radiated warmth. His clothes hinted at his well-developed muscles, obvious by the way his t-shirt pulled against his chest and biceps, and his jeans stretched against his thighs.

  My reaction to Reed scared the hell out of me. He saw too much. I didn't date often, and when I did I gravitated toward superficial relationships. Not only did Reed see below the surface, but also he made me want to open up. I couldn't bring my problems into his life. I'd watched my brother suffer because of me. If his interest in me led to him being hurt, it would destroy me.

  "You got really quiet," Reed said staring intently at my face.

  "Just thinking," I answered quietly.

  "Stop. Stop over thinking everything. We're friends. Whatever dark thoughts you've got bouncing around in that blonde head of yours just turn them off. Even if it's just for one night," Reed insisted.

  I nodded in response. Ignoring my fears and pretending to be fine was a well-practiced skill for me.

  Reed reached for the remote and turned on a documentary.

  "You don't want to watch a movie? Something with grown men acting out adolescent fantasies, or with unnecessary explosions?" I asked sarcastically.

  "Don't tell me you have something against the Discovery Channel. Come on this is a documentary about the intelligence of dogs," Reed said.

  "Have a thing for canine neuroscience do you?" I asked intrigued.

  "Not particularly. I have a thing for Border Collies. I'm thinking about getting one," he answered.

  I pursed my lips in thought. "Yeah, I can see you with a dog."

  "Oh, I'm going to get one soon. Now scoot over here and share this blanket with me, and if you are really nice I'll let you help me pick one out this weekend," he said, and lifted the corner of the blanket.

  "What makes you think I want to help you pick out a dog?" I asked confused.

  "Well, we're friends now, and you said 'ahh' when the dogs first came on the screen," he teased.

  "Babies and puppies is that how you plan on winning me over?" I asked.

  "If that doesn't win you over I don't think I want to," he answered.

  "I work weekends," I said, changing tactics.

  "You don't work on Sunday afternoon," he retorted.

  "You know my schedule now?" I asked a little on guard.

  "Katie, knowledge is power," he said.

  I cocked my head to the side. He was the only one who had ever called me Katie. "No one calls me Katie. Why do you?"

  "Because no one else does," he said simply.

  Yup, he didn't miss anything. "I can't figure you out, Reed Martin," I admitted.

  "Good, because that means you'll have to spend more time thinking about me until you do," he said with a grin.

  I pulled on the blanket. "Oh, shut up and watch the documentary."

  "Your wish is my command, Katie girl," he answered, and pulled the blanket and me closer.

  I planned to move, but sitting close to him felt right. He smelled faintly of cedar and soap. I could feel his breathing change, and I knew my closeness was affecting him too. I decided one kiss wouldn't really be that bad. I leaned in to give him the green light to make a move.

  Very gently Reed pushed a lock of my hair out of my face, and caressed the back of my neck. My gaze focused on his lips as they came closer and closer. I was mesmerized by the deep pink color and the fullness of lips wasted on a man. I could feel our breath mingling together, when Scott started wailing.

  Reed let go of the back of my neck, and we both started laughing. "This explains why Aiden and Becca were already all over each other before they even left here," Reed commented.

  "Yeah, I...about what almost happened," I began.

  "I know, Kate, you only want to be friends," Reed said resigned.

  "I think it's best," I muttered looking anywhere but at him.

  Reed tipped my chin up with his finger, forcing me to look into his bright green eyes. "One of these days you're going to talk to me. I think you need friendship from me more than you need to be kissed. I want you to remember that I'm here for you, no matter what, anytime you need me."

  "I'll remember," I agreed. I felt too many things at once. Like flying and falling at the same time.

  "Good. Now, grab that diaper bag, and I'll get the kid," Reed said.

  I smiled at him. I was relieved and grateful that he understood I could only offer him friendship. But at the same time I was disappointed that he was willing to ac
cept it.

  Chapter 4

  Reed

  The guys gathered at Aiden's house. Before Aiden and his best friend Jeremy moved in across the street I spent most of my time socializing with co-workers. Now I had a group of friends that were more like family, and meeting them had brought Kate into my life.

  "Are you really going to get a dog?" Jeremy asked.

  "That's the plan," I answered as I passed out beers to the guys.

  Cameron stood rigidly on the other side of the room, as far as possible from Jeremy.

  I looked at Aiden, who shrugged in response. I guess he didn't know what was going on with them either. For his part, Jeremy was trying hard to act normal, but it seemed a little too forced.

  "Why don't we see if we can find a game on?" I asked, trying to end the awkward silence.

  "Yes please," Aiden answered.

  I grabbed the remote and surfed the sports channels on cable before I settled on a college football game.

  Cameron sat on the sofa, but still on the other side of the room from Jeremy. I realized his coldness wasn't only directed at Jeremy when I noticed him casting me suspicious glances. "What do you think is going to happen taking my sister with you to pick out a dog?"

  "Do you have something against me getting close to Kate?" I tossed back.

  If her twin brother had a problem with me, then I didn't stand a chance at even a friendship with her. Kate didn't reveal much about herself, but I knew that Cameron was the most important person in her world.

  "I'm just looking out for her. You're a good guy, Reed, but there is more than one way to get hurt. If you aren't serious about her, then leave her be. She's already been hurt every other way possible. She doesn't need a broken heart too," Cameron warned.

  "If anyone is at risk here, it's me," I said seriously. I didn't like what he was implying. My imagination ran wild with the need to protect her from things that happened before I met her.

  "Some people can't handle a serious relationship. The past can be hard to run from," Cameron said looking at Jeremy.

  Aiden tossed his hands up and glared back and forth between Cameron and Jeremy. "What the hell is going on between the two of you?"

  "You'll have to ask the gingerbread man," Jeremy answered, and walked out of the room.

  "Gingerbread man?" I mumbled to Aiden.

  "You know, 'run run as fast as you can’..." Aiden muttered back.

  "You two have known each other a long time if you understood that," I commented.

  Aiden turned his focus to Cameron. "Remember that speech you gave Reed a few minutes ago?"

  "I don't want to hurt Jeremy. But I can't give him what he wants either. I'm not ready for everyone to know I'm gay," Cameron said.

  "We've always known," I pointed out.

  "Yeah, because of how close you are to my sister. But the people I work with, classmates, and professors don't know. I'm not ready," he said.

  "You know Jeremy doesn't broadcast the fact he's gay. I don't get what the problem is," Aiden snapped.

  "I'm just not ready. I don't know what else to say," Cameron sighed.

  "Don't wait too long. Jeremy won't sit around," Aiden warned.

  Cameron nodded, resigned. "I know."

  Jeremy walked into the room with a bag of chips and a large bowl of dip. "Next weekend I'm throwing a party," he announced.

  "Here we go," Aiden muttered under his breath.

  "Do you think you and Bec can make it?" Jeremy asked him.

  "I guess it won't hurt to ask Becca's mom if she wants to come down for the weekend. I'll talk to Becca about it when the girls get back from their lunch," Aiden answered.

  A few minutes later we heard the girls voices coming up to the front door. Scott chose that moment to wake up from his nap.

  "No wonder Becca is always tired. That kid of yours has radar for when his mom is near," Jeremy told Aiden.

  "That he does. You know what, Jer, we'll go to your party. I don't want Becca to forget that she's twenty-one, and feel like she missed out," Aiden said before going to get Scott.

  Kate walked in next to Toni. They were giggling about something, and I got nervous that it was about me. That was until I noticed a look exchanged between Toni and Jeremy. I knew the two of them had grown close, but I was starting to think there was more than friendship going on between them.

  Cameron also seemed to notice the silent interaction between Toni and Jeremy. Kate started to fidget in response to her twin's discomfort. I wanted to get her out the door before she chose to stay with her brother. It wasn't that I wanted to get in between them, but they were keeping a secret and I didn't want to give her time to run from me again.

  "Ready, Katie?" I asked.

  Cameron raised his eyebrow at her, and she shook her head keeping him from commenting on my nickname. "Yep, let's go find you a dog," she said with forced enthusiasm.

  "One sec," Jeremy interrupted.

  "I am throwing a party next weekend. I happen to know that you are being forced to take some of your vacation time then. Whaddya say, Kate? Will you come?"

  "If I'm going, so are you," Becca said walking out of the back room where Scott was napping.

  Aiden followed behind her carrying Scott, who was busy trying to wedge his hand in his dad's mouth. "Come on, Kate. What's the worst that can happen?" Aiden mumbled around his son's fist.

  Kate and Cameron exchanged a look that made my protective instincts kick in. For an instant her eyes reflected raw terror. Cameron walked over to her and discretely rubbed her arm. "If you go, I'll be there with you. Like always," he said quietly.

  Kate turned her attention back to Jeremy. "Okay, Jeremy. I'll check it out. I won't promise to stay late, but I'll at least make an appearance. On one condition," she hesitated.

  "Name it," Jeremy said.

  "Reed has to come too," she finished.

  I groaned. I was never into the party scene, and when Jeremy was in this kind of mood his parties got wild. But I promised her that I'd be there whenever she needed me. "I've got weekends off for the next couple of weeks. I'll go. You have to card everyone, Jeremy," I insisted.

  "Always do," he said as we walked out the door. I didn't believe that, but as long as he did when I was there I could over look it.

  I opened the passenger door of my truck for her, and she gave me a funny look. "No one ever opened a car door for you?" I asked surprised.

  "Actually no," she said. Her forehead scrunched up deep in thought.

  "Not even that Jake guy?" I asked, fishing for information.

  "Oh my God! That was months ago. Becca was right, that guy was totally lame. We went out several times, and then I never heard from him again."

  "Really? What a douche," I grumbled. I don't know why I was angry. His dumbass passed up the most amazing woman I'd ever met, but it meant she was single.

  Kate shrugged. "It's no big really. I wasn't really all that into him."

  I already knew that, but I wasn't expecting her to admit it. "Then why were you dating him?" I pressed.

  "That's a good question. I don't have an answer, but it's a good question," she said shaking her head.

  "I know you only want to be friends, but I want to make something clear," I began. Kate tensed up when I reached forward for my iPhone.

  "Relax, Katie, I'm just going to play you a song. This says it better than I can," I said.

  I plugged my phone into my stereo and cued up Mumford and Son's "I Will Wait For You." The banjo blasted through my speakers, and I watched as she realized what I was playing her.

  "I can't ask you to wait for me, Reed," she said softly.

  "It isn't a choice for me, Katie. I'll be your friend. I won't push you. But I'll still be waiting for you to see me the way I see you."

  She looked up at me with sad brown eyes. "Some people are too broken to waste your time on."

  "You aren't broken, Katie, just a little bruised. Either way I'll be here waiting," I promised.

  Ka
te shook her head. "I wish that were true. I don't expect you to wait. If I ever gave into you, which I won't, you'd see I wasn't worth the trouble."

  I wanted to touch her, comfort her in some way, but I knew that she was too raw to accept it right now. She grabbed my phone and searched through my playlist. Without a word she picked a Lumineers song, "Slow it Down." The opening lines of the song shattered me, and I knew that whatever Kate's secrets were they were going to break my heart.

  Chapter 5

  Kate

  We only drove a few blocks before we pulled into the parking lot. "Reed, this is a ranch store. Why are we getting you a dog from here? I thought they only had bunnies," I asked confused.

  "Usually, but they are having a pet adoption event. I don't want to buy a dog from a breeder when these dogs face being euthanized because they aren't a trendy breed," he answered.

  I smiled at him. There went another crack in the wall around my heart. "You really are a nice guy aren't you?"

  "Don't sound so surprised," he mumbled.

  "Sorry," I apologized. I was sorry, because I knew what he wanted from me. I wanted to give him everything, but I couldn't. He deserved more. If he was truly as good as he seemed, he deserved so much more than me.

  Reed turned his expressive green eyes on me. Sadness and frustration seemed to cool their usual warmth. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm starting to realize you've dealt with some pretty shitty men in your life. It pisses me off that you've been treated badly and I can't change it. But you don't need to apologize."

  "What kind of dog do you want?" I asked, changing the subject.

  "Hmm...I'm not sure yet. Picking a dog should be like finding your soul mate. It's something you can't define or explain until you meet," he mused.

  We walked in, and I instantly gravitated toward the cutest German Shepherd puppies I'd ever seen. They seemed perfect for him. I mean he's a cop, it's a perfect match. Reed, however, passed by all of the puppies.

  "Did you see these?" I asked making sure he didn't miss his canine soul mate.

  "Those puppies won't have a hard time finding a home. Ehhh... I'm not sure yet," he said looking everywhere.

  I watched in shock as Reed approached the second ugliest dog there. The ugliest dog was sitting nearby, and seemed protective of her. "Hello, sweetheart. How are you?" he asked the dog. The brown, black, and white colored dog cocked her head to the side evaluating him, before daintily lifting her paw to shake.